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Transforming the IDK Girl
The IDK Girl needs to know that they have a voice. She needs to know that even if she makes the wrong choice, at least they are making a choice. The IDK Girl needs to find the confidence to fail. Failing is difficult. But failing forward is a positive experience that can lead to better and more wise decisions in the future.
Failing forward* means that when you fail (not if you fail–but WHEN) you learn a lesson from every failure. Those lessons will build your confidence, bring you closer to wisdom, allow you to change and refine your ideas, thoughts, opinions and purpose.
The IDK Girl needs to know that her friends opinions don’t mean everything. She needs to know that sometimes, her friends will not like, or even hate her thoughts, and that’s perfectly okay. She needs to know that she doesn’t always have to be like everyone else, because she was not created to be like everyone else.
Her confidence should remain in the absolute truth found solely in her identity in Christ. Because Christ created her as a masterpiece, because she’s the apple of HIS eye, because he formed her and created her for a purpose, that is why the IDK Girl can like pineapple on her pizza, or wear Tom’s shoes even if everyone at school says they look like slippers, or help the “dork” with his backpack.
The IDK girl needs someone like YOU pointing out the truth of who she is so that she can become all that God wants her to be. And the more you move yourself from an IDK Woman, the more you are a living example of the truth of God’s love living in and through you.
Are you an IDK girl?
How do you encourage your tweens and teens to be confident in who they are?
*Failing Forward is a concept originated by John Maxwell.
The Fears of the IDK Girl
The “I Don’t Know Girl” evolves quietly and slowly. As kids face more and more pressure to be accepted and perfect, and more and more rejection if they do something wrong, their ability to make decisions slowly dwindle. The “IDK Girl” struggles with self confidence which encourages individuality.
The fear of making the wrong choice will lead to the possibility of being ridiculed or looked down on. If a teenager says, I want to eat _______ and her friends don’t like that idea, then maybe she will feel like an outcast.
If she likes something on her pizza like anchovies or pineapple, she may hear judgement, she may hear, “gross!” If what I like is gross, then what I am is gross, perhaps??
If the IDK girl wears the wrong thing to school, she fears not measuring up. The WRONG shoes, a shirt NOT bought from the RIGHT place, a purse NOT costing $200.
The pattern here: teenage girls want to fit in, even at the expense of not having their own identity. I see a growing pattern in girls working hard to create a NON-identity, simply wanting to blend in, even mortified if they stand out in any way. Individuality comes at a high price. But so does not being yourself. Constant fear ends up controlling every thought of the young girls of the Y generation.
Fear of rejection
Fear of failure
Fear of judgement
Fear of ridicule
Fear of being alone
Have you experienced girls being judged for trying to establish their individuality?
