Comments for Beyond the Behavior http://beyondthebehavior.com Into A Child's Heart Thu, 09 Jun 2011 21:38:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ Comment on D.I.V.O.R.C.E. by TJ Crawford http://beyondthebehavior.com/2011/06/02/d-i-v-o-r-c-e/#comment-29 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 21:38:46 +0000 http://beyondthebehavior.com/?p=109#comment-29 I understand the paradox of divorce being a blessing and curse. In so many ways I feel that my first marriage that ended in divorce was a blessing, but I see the broken hearts of my kids that remind me of the heartbreaking reality of the sinfulness of this world. It’s a blessing that you and your ex are able to get along and work together for the sake of the kids! That’s awesome!

]]> Comment on D.I.V.O.R.C.E. by TJ Crawford http://beyondthebehavior.com/2011/06/02/d-i-v-o-r-c-e/#comment-28 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 21:36:34 +0000 http://beyondthebehavior.com/?p=109#comment-28 Marriage is foundational and links an eternal bond, from now into the future if you have kids. There is a reason that God says he hates divorce.

]]> Comment on D.I.V.O.R.C.E. by jenn http://beyondthebehavior.com/2011/06/02/d-i-v-o-r-c-e/#comment-26 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 14:50:56 +0000 http://beyondthebehavior.com/?p=109#comment-26 In my case, divorce saved my family. Married for just one week shy of seventeen years, we were outwardly happy and inwardly miserable. When he moved out, it took a few weeks for all of us to adjust. And then one day, we were having a family talk and one of the kids said, “You’re both so much *happier* now.” And I knew we’d made the right decision. I didn’t marry for just a few years, I married for forever, and for a long time leading up to the separation, I felt like a failure for even considering it after years of counseling and trying everything in every book and on every website to try to make things work. After all, something had to work eventually, right? It was killing me.

For my family of four, what’s worked best post-divorce is communication. Always, always, always, and especially now. We talked to the kids about what was going to change, what would stay the same, and our feelings on everything. Without sharing all of the whys (and together deciding that they really, especially at 11 & 13, don’t need to know about Dad’s infidelity and other issues), but always expressing love, I think we’ve done it as “right” as we could possibly do it. The kids feel safe and secure and we still do lots and lots together, just don’t live in the same house. Making sure that they know that that we both love them and still present a united front as parents has been very important to us – we are still a family and still raising these wonderful kids together, even though we live in separate houses.

My daughter talked to us the other day, telling us that she was happy that we were still close friends and loved each other. Her best friend is ALWAYS at our house; Mom and Dad are divorced and she lives full time with Dad and it’s not a pretty situation at all. Seeing that contrast between the two girls, the carefree heart of my baby and the guarded heart of her friend hurts, but inside, I feel happy that she’s realized how different it could have been. . .

]]> Comment on D.I.V.O.R.C.E. by Darwin C http://beyondthebehavior.com/2011/06/02/d-i-v-o-r-c-e/#comment-25 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:09:45 +0000 http://beyondthebehavior.com/?p=109#comment-25 I believe marriage is important its a foundation where a man and women can be eternally bonded as one lest one of them defiles the bond by committing sexual acts with another person which should be the only called for divorce. It is also sad that they are also celebrations for a divorce just as one for a marriage celebration, I was just watching it on the news last night. I also believe that divorce cause disunity between a child and parent and begins a cycle where the child is confused about everything around them I should know that feeling myself coming from a parent who hit the splits a few times.

]]> Comment on Every Girl Knows… by TJ Crawford http://beyondthebehavior.com/2011/05/26/every-girl-knows/#comment-13 Thu, 26 May 2011 19:01:29 +0000 http://beyondthebehavior.com/?p=98#comment-13 :)

]]> Comment on Every Girl Knows… by jenn http://beyondthebehavior.com/2011/05/26/every-girl-knows/#comment-12 Thu, 26 May 2011 13:43:09 +0000 http://beyondthebehavior.com/?p=98#comment-12 Amen. Love this and totally, wholeheartedly agree. :)

]]>